i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
