she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
