Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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