Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
