Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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