Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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