Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
