my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
