her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
