Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Randomize
