Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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