Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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