I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
