dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
