Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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