Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
