I puked a lego.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize