I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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