ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
