She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
