We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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