nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
My pussy is not your playground.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
