Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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