North Korea, Best Korea!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
