well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
