i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
