Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Are my feet made of real feet?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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