Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
