you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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