I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
its not stalking. its research.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
