the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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