She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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