i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
