I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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