Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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