Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize