i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
