i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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