Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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