k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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