I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
