google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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