I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
