I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
