no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
