I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
