Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
