Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
