True but thats because hes a fetus.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
