hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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