i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
