I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
