I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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