I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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