Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
