We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
